The ZADR disease! OH NOES!
by StripedInvaderZim
Summary: You've got the ZADR disease, the ebilness! ... just read, it's funny


Good lord! You are suffering from...  
**ZADR's Disorder**! OO;

**Possible Causes:**  
Shoe-shaped aliens entered your home one night and implanted Post-hypnotic ZADR suggestions into your spleen. Then they tied you up and poked you in the eyes with a ZADR-LOVE-Probe which looks like a giant strawberry shaped weapon. It hurts, but the ZADR!!!!!!

Brainwaves transmitted across space-time from an advanced alien species in an effort to create an anarchist utopia populated by fangirl/boy and mutant hamster hybrids that produce copious amounts of meta-physical energy during kinky orgies which said aliens will harness in order to power the deep fryers of their countless burger joints across infinite realities.

The shock of finding the club broke your brain and awakened the sub-conscious fangirl/boy you had tried so hard to suppress, which proceeded to assassinate the poor citizens of your mind such as "Conscience" and "Preppieness", and eventually became the facist leader of your mind. The End!

**Possible Symptoms Include:**  
Hair loss!

rips out a chunk of hair and holds it out for you

SEE!!

You also find yourself strangely attracted to tacos, pointy things, three-fingered gloves, and the color green.

Violent Xeno related orgasms that end in death of countless braincells you probably weren't using anyway

You are suddenly pregnant with smeets and don't know why (goes double for males)

Your sketchbooks mysteriously fill with ZADR doodles overnight. It's like... sleep-drawing or something. shrug Oh, and whenever you're on Google, DeviantART, or any search engine, you feel compelled to type "ZADR".

And you DREAM about it. OBSESSIVELY. EVERY. SINGLE. FREAKIN'. NIGHT. The dreeeeeams... shudder

Um... yeah.

Also, there's the obsessive-compulsive fan fiction/art, and whenever you hear a song that even VAGUELY reminds you of ZADR, You squeal. Loudly. VERY loudly. And announce: "Ohmyfreakingawd this is sooooo ZADR-ish!" and proceed to have one of your own little trademark "fangirl seizures."

AND YOU ENJOY EVERY SYMPTOM. Which is even MORE confusing. At this point, you know you've got ZADR's Disorder baaaaad. But you probably don't really care for some reason.

**Possible ZADR Cures you might try:**  
Clone yourself multiple times to make a corn muffin wielding army of DOOM. Then transport your corn muffin wielding army of DOOM into the past to disrupt the flow of the time continuum so you don't read all that ZADR pr0n that resulted in the loss of brain cells that caused you to make a corn muffin wielding army of DOOM in the first place, thus negating your existence and all existence on the planet earth...or something like that.

...just eat more air.

Infect someone else. When you spread the infection, you spread the love.

FIRST! Go to the beach and swim around with out and sunscreen on and get a bad burn. THEN go home and lock yourself in a closet with no access to nutella, balogna, water balloons, umbrellas, handcuffs or meat for 27 days. THEN you should have your friends strap you into a chair, tape your eyes open and force you to watch films and clips on why ZADR is 'bad' while playing classical music loudly.

and if that doesn't cure you.. well.. someone could always hire a sleezy hitman to kill you. :3

There is no cure. plain and simple.

it's like trying to stop the sky from bleeding red... at least on rice and ketchup Tuesdays... and let's face it, how many of us actually DON'T enjoy those xeno orgasms when reading charles dickens?

anyway, air is delicious.

Read/watch/look at ZADR until your eyes bleed with the goo of huuman blood and until it's out of your system.

I, Dr. Greyscale, HAVE FOUND A CURE (sorta)! YAY FOR ME. Though I, personally, can't imagine WHY someone would want to leave the fandom. 'Course, that's just ME.

FIRSTLY! The ZADR gods are CONSTANTLY watching you all, so wrap your head in tinfoil, or some other metal. Or duct tape. This will cut off the radio-like ZADR beams that are being, for lack of a better word, beamed. To your brainmeats. Yeah.

NEXT. DESTROY ANY AND ALL ZADR INFLUENCE. ANY AND ALL. This will gradually wean you off the fandom. It takes a LONG time, mainly because ZADR is very addicting. Be forewarned, there are side effects, which may include: headaches, deja vu, abdominal pain, earaches, black plague, stomachaches, spontanious combustion, deja vu, coughing/sneezing fits, pancreasaches, appendixaches, vomiting, male pregnancy, speelaches, deja vu, alien abduction... drones on and on and on...

And NEXT on the list: Give yourself amniesia somehow. This will cause you to forget about ZADR COMPLETELY.

And then you're cured. Yay for you.

Wiat until Venus crashes into Urans then eat a whole box of cookie dough and sob, sob, sob until the aliens come to butt rape you - like they normally do ): -

**Possible side-effects of suggested cures:**

Hmm... they tried to cure me once. It went something like this-

"Come here, little guinea pig-er-girl. We want to expiriment on-um-cure you. Get rid of your horrid ZaDR implosions." Janitors were corneringme, and were trying to inject me with a clear liquid that had a little gerbil in it screaming "THE JUICE!! THE JUIIIICE!!!!" and I saw it had no 'cure' but had gonashyphaherpelaids in it instead, and they were trying to see if it would make me become a meat-puppet. I screamed "SEA-LLAMAS!!" and then they looked aorund, and I ran away, just to trip over a beetle and fall flat on the ground. One of them got me and then I poked him and hummed "FBI ASSEMBLE!!" and a hoard of little leprechauns in purple tutus carrying umbrellas came to my aid. They ate the janitors until they turned into butterflies, then they flew away and got eaten by a pixie stick. Then I danced in a circle with the leprechauns and we sang "They Got No Cure For Me!!"

I tried eating more air. It just made me gassy.

I tried raping a local trenchoat wearing crytozoologist with a big head and glasses. I just got arrested.

I tried other. It just tasted like pork.

I tried painting a black cross on my door. I just got chewed out by the RAs in my apartment building.

I tried waking up. Then I saw another new sketch in my drawing pad and realized this was no dream.

I refuse cryogenic freezing on the basis that I hate being cold.

I tried birth-control pills. They just turned out to be like Tylenol, I had to take more and more per dosage in order for them to be as effective and that's just not healthy eats lard with mayonnaise.

I tried attempting to repeat the cause. I just ended up naked in a dark, dark room and very confused...

I tried infecting someone else...But do you know how weird you look when you're haplessly dangling off of someone's arm by your teeth wearing a scruffy green werewolf costume with a pillow stuffed in the tummy to insinuate pregnancy and a Dib wig/glasses/trenchcoat combo while brandishing garlic guised in a taco shell? I didn't think so TT

My only other option is to accept my disease.

...

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I don't own anything, woe me!!!! (Amy-chan owns the sea-llamas, I love you amy-chan) But you have to admit that was kinda funny I didn't exactly know the rating but that doesn't matter

Bye bye


End file.
